So you know what an unfortunate side effect of wearing glasses is? Taking them off in the shower and slicing the bajesus out of your toe on your wife’s shaver.
My vision is not great, I normally hold off on putting my contact on until after I shower, so I was unaware that near my feet was a razor cutting blade of death that told my second told, “you can rot in the fiery pits of hell you son of a bitch.” It may not have said that, but it definitely made contact.
It was a weird feeling. It was kind of like you got a paper cut, but multiply it by 3 separate pieces of paper all lined up. It was one of those things where you immediately don’t want to look anywhere near the part that got cut, and I’m pretty sure if I was alone, I would have panicked and cried like the little sissy man that I am.
So as I got out of the shower, and I knew I had been wounded, I requested Jen get me a paper towel. At this point I had no idea how deep the cut was, or maybe it just had briefed by the skin with no big deal. I was wrong. Jen brought me up a single paper towel, courtesy of my son Ricky, and I tried to muster up courage to say, haha I actually need 17 more!
I immediately applied pressure and really did not want to move, look at it, or remove the paper towel off of the wound. My son brought me up a single small Toy Story band-aid which was nice in thought, but definitely not enough to do the job. I removed the paper towel so my wife could look at it, and I could see all sorts of blood on it. I can’t say I have ever had issues with blood, but today I kind of felt the weirdness.
I quickly showed her the wound and went right back to applying pressure. My years of playing Call of Duty as a medic must have paid off because it did stop bleeding long enough to place not one, but four Toy Story band-aids on the wound. 3 across to prevent drippage, and one over the top to seal the deal. It essentially looks like I have a Toy Story cast on my single toe. It was not fun, and just thinking about taking the band-aid off freaks my brain out. It probably seemed way worse than it was, but just the feeling of my toe hitting that razor shaver blade felt ridiculously stupid. So that was my fun experience, your turn.