I really feel like I disappoint myself sometimes. I feel like my ability to handle stress and anxiety is nowhere near one of my stronger traits. I feel like I let myself get overwhelmed and then I just turn in to a grade A dick. It’s not something I’m proud of, and something I really need to correct because I feel like it’s happening more and more frequently.
I think I’ve probably always had an issue with getting over stressed, and then you have that feeling where your body tightens up, and you just feel tight and anxious. I then walk around in a bad mood, high strung and probably very reserved and crabby. Unfortunately, the ones who probably get to be victims of this is Jen and the kids. I become extremely impatient, and I feel like I just get angry really easily. I hate it.
The thing is, even though it happens more often lately than before, I react the same way. I haven’t found a way to relieve the stress, or step away to clear my head so I don’t turn in to the jerk. I also have problems telling myself, “hey stop being a dick.” It’s not until after Jen tells me later like “hey sorry for whatever, I know you seemed stressed and crabby.” I then feel even more like a dick for being that way. She puts up with it probably more than she should ever have to, and it’s really not fair to her.
I could say it’s because of money, my job or the kids being fussy, but I feel those are all cop outs. I feel you should never have a reason to be that way to people. I pride myself on being respectful to people, yet the people I love the absolute most in the world, are the ones who see the shitty side of me.
So I guess before this blog becomes a “poor me” type of rant. How do you guys go about managing stress and relieving stress. What do you do if you feel super uptight? I really want to fix my ways because I feel like it’s going to just get worse and worse, and eventually lead to something I’m going to regret. If ever a time to leave me some feedback or tips, this would be the most appreciated, because I feel like this is one of my biggest character flaws. I want to be able to handle stresses in my life without turning into Mr. Hyde.